Debugging
by AgentPoltergeist
Summary: Sollux Captor works for Hivebent Computer Services, and he's sent out to do house calls for the day. Soon he has to serve a regular from the office who he's come to hate with all his being, but decides to make the best of the situation. Erisol. Blackrom, twoshot. Basically PWP.


Sollux currently hated the world and everything in it, and he didn't care who knew it.

He was working overtime because his flaky stoner of a coworker had bailed out of his shift, and someone had to fill in for the guy's duties driving around fixing computers for clueless shitheads all over the city. The van he was driving rattled and smelled weird, and one window-wiper didn't do much more than twitch while the other swiped away the pelting rain. And it was definitely raining. Sollux was scared he'd wreck if it didn't let up.

He'd just gotten done fixing a Macbook for a girl who couldn't figure out how to download iTunes. She'd been sweet, though. Made a lot of fish puns, but nice enough. Half the time his customers looked at him like the lowly tech monkey he was and barely gave him a thank you.

Sollux swerved around a corner and sped towards the apartment building next up on his list of clients. He tried to recall what it was this guy needed. Debugging...something or other. Whatever. He'd ask when he got there.

Sollux's nose actually wrinkled in distaste when he pulled into the lavish apartment complex. Everything about the place screamed 'snotty rich people'. He actually had to use his I.D. to pass through a gate to get in. He rolled his eyes. Ostentatious was not his style. He parked beside a couple of expensive-looking sports cars and hopped out, laptop case slung over his back.

Shit, he thought as the rain started soaking him. His case was waterproof, but it was bad form to come to the door drenched. He ran as fast as possible to the glass double doors and entered the lobby, checking the room number he'd scrawled down on the back of a receipt. Panting a bit from the hurry, he went to the receptionist behind the front desk. "Computer maintentance for room 612?"

The receptionist cast him a glance up from under her glasses, picked up a phone on a reciever and punched in a number before handing him the phone as if it were a used napkin. "He'll be on the line in just a moment."

"Er, uh. Thanks."

Sollux listened to the static crackling over the line for a moment before a stuffy sounding voice with a strange accent broke the quiet. "Yes?"

Sollux cleared his throat before saying, "Hivebent Computer Services, here for Room 612."

"Oh. Yes. Come on up, then. Ah, the elevator's out. You'll have to take the stairs."

Sollux muttered, "Are you shitting me?" under his breath and away from the reciever, then turned and said "I'll be up in just a moment."

His client hung up without another word, leaving Sollux standing there with the phone, blinking in surprised irritation. He handed it back to the surly receptionist and started up the stairwell. At least it was better kept than the one in his apartment building. The one he was used to was cold, dank and had unidentifiable puddles here and there. This seemed to have decent lighting and railings that weren't disgusting. But the walk was a long one. When he reached the first floor, he saw that all the room numbers started with 1. That meant this douchelord was on the sixth floor. Sollux's calf muscles were starting to ache by the second flight of stairs, but he had to go faster. By stairwell number four he was short of breath, sore and sweating. Who the hell builds apartments this tall?

When he finally reached the sixth floor his nerves were starting to fray under a flame of white-hot rage. He stormed down the hallway, forcing himself to stay composed while he looked for the right room. Fuck this, he fumed to himself silently. Fuck this with the broad end of a rake. Brutally and repeatedly. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Sollux pulled himself to a quick halt as he almost missed Room 612, then reached out and knocked on the dark wooden door with gold-plated numbers. He straightened his hair and clothes a bit as he heard footsteps approach the door, then the knob turn, then the door open wide-

Oh, Jesus dicking Christ.

Sollux knew this prick.

His name was Eridan Ampora and he had come into Hivebent so many times apparently with the express intent of being an asshole. His computer seemed to be broken every other month, he was constantly downloading viruses off of sketchy dating websites, and he never missed an opportunity to complain about how expensive every little service was. Sollux had grown to hate this guy with a burning, boiling passion over the last few months. And now here he was, being shipped to the guy's door and told to go pander to his every computer need.

Eridan's eyes blinked in surprised confusion behind his thick, pretentious, horn-rimmed glasses. "Oh," he finally managed to say. "It's you."

Sollux detected the note of distaste in Eridan's voice, and it didn't improve his mood. But he swallowed his pride and said, "Yes, hello. You requested a debug for your PC?"

Eridan nodded and stepped aside, somehow managing to make the gesture arrogant. "Come on in, then."

Sollux stepped through the threshold and into the apartment, trying to contain his overwhelming contempt for the man he knew was paying him. He would have no choice but to grin and bear it. Okay, fuck grinning. He'd just bear it.

Sollux had been working on the debug for nearly an hour and the contempt for his client had developed into a white-hot, simmering rage. Eridan rambled. His apartment was stuffy and overly neat. He was self-absorbed. He did nothing but complain. And Sollux could swear that once or twice he had made some sort of attempt at flirting. It was all he could do not to kick the guy's teeth in. And he totally would, and he'd get fired, and it would be worth it, were it not for the fact that...

Eridan was hot.

It wasn't something he'd just noticed, either. The moment Eridan had set foot in Hivebent for the first time, Sollux's first thought was something like I would fuck that.

Then he got a taste of Eridan's personality and edited the first impression to I would fuck that with a cactus. Didn't change the fact that the man was downright gorgeous. He was pale, with a long, thin nose and dark circles under his eyes, which didn't make for a conventional pretty face. But something about him was extremely alluring. His looks suggested something darkly elegant, almost princelike. He was tall and lanky in build, but he carried himself with an air of self-importance. He had dark, wavy hair that looked well-groomed, and was also adorned with a purple streak. All in all, a quite attractive person. He just annoyed the blistered, bleeding hell out of Sollux.

As Sollux waited and waited as countless megabytes of malware were flushed out of Eridan's computer, he decided that maybe engaging in some cursory attempts at conversation would pass the time.

"You call in tech support guys often?"

Eridan looked up from the book about medieval warfare he had buried his nose in. "Hm? Oh, no. I should keep doing it, though. It's not as if I haven't got the money, although your in-store fees are high enough as it is."

"Yeah, yeah," Sollux let slip as he turned back to the computer screen.

Eridan arched an eyebrow. "Funny, I don't remember you havin' the attitude when I came into your store myself."

"Call it a personality defect," Sollux said through tight lips as he scanned for more viruses.

"Well, I ain't payin' you to be defective in my house. So watch the lip, Sol."

In that instant, a wire in Sollux's mind frayed. A fuse blew. In a half-second, he had Eridan by the shirt collar and was staring him in the eyes. "Listen, shitstain. I do not get paid enough to be ordered around by a scarf-necked ass clown like you. I am going to fix your stupid, virus-ridden laptop for you, and then I am going to take whatever money I can get and leave. I am your tech support. I am not your bitch."

Eridan's expression went from indignant to smugly suggestive. "You don't get paid enough, eh?"

Sollux's eye twitched as a grin crept across Eridan's face. "What say I pay you a bit extra if there's a bit a extra service involved?"

Sollux's heart jumped in his chest at the idea, but he forced his face to stay angry. "You can't be serious. You're the dictionary definition of desperate, Eridan," he sneered as he let go of his collar and turned back to the computer. But just as he was about to sit down, he felt a hand on his shoulder and a pair of lips at his ear. "I bet you'll be my bitch by the end of the night," Eridan said quietly. Sollux felt heat rush to both his face and his groin at the words, and was suddenly being forced to make a quick decision. If he played his cards right, he could be getting some action in a matter of minutes from this smug piece of shit. But he didn't want to throw himself at him. So what to do?

"Real clever there, ED, twisting my words around to suit your purposes," he said, turning around slightly. "But all you're doing is talking big. I bet you aren't sure I want it. That right?"

Eridan furrowed his brow and scoffed. "Oh, I know you want it. I could see you lustin' after me since I first started comin' in. I couldn't believe it when you showed up here, though. Awful convenient, though. You're already in my house, so what's keepin' me from havin' my way with you right now?"

Sollux narrowed his eyes and shrugged Eridan's hand off his shoulder. "You're still talking. That's all you do, isn't it? Spew your pompous bullshit? I think it's time you back up your bark...with some bite."

In a quick, jerking motion, Sollux slammed his lips into Eridan's only to bite down roughly. The taller man yelped with pain and brought a hand to his lower lip, but was shocked again when Sollux nipped at his exposed neck.

"Wh-ah! Whaddya think you're-ohhh..."

Sollux started sucking lightly on the skin just below Eridan's jaw, and took a bit of evil delight in watching him whimper. He detached and said, "Who's the bitch now, huh?"

Eridan glared and took the opportunity to seize Sollux's lips, this time taking control and forcing his tongue into his mouth. Sollux's eyes widened, a bit annoyed at having lost the dominance he'd gained, but within seconds his eyes were closed and he was sighing into the kiss with pleasure. Eridan clearly didn't play as rough as Sollux, but he was still quite skilled with his lips. Wonder what else that mouth can do, Sollux thought to himself as he let his hands travel down Eridan's chest and rest on his hips. Suddenly he was frustrated by the lack of skin contact. He yanked the hem of Eridan's shirt up slightly and caressed his hips and lower back gently, then accompanying it with light scratches. Eridan hissed with pleasure as they swayed in place in the middle of his den.

"Sol," Eridan whispered, "As pleasant as this is, if we don't make it to my bed tonight, I'm goin' to be seriously disappointed."

"Then shut up and lead the way, dipshit."


End file.
